BUSH BIN LADEN OHIO AND OTHER POST ELECTION RANTS

BY SKEPTIK SINIKIAN

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel as though I can finally breathe. I know most people were expecting me to spontaneously combust into a ball of flames if President Bush was reelected–but I’m not upset. I watched both Senator Kerry’s concession speech and President Bush’s victory speech and it made me realize that regardless of who’s in office–the world will continue to go about its everyday business. The sun will rise and the sun will set. Bombs will be manufactured on an assembly line with the same precision and attention to detail as tiny jars of baby food and no one will take notice. Another four years and there will be more casualties in Iraq and more ready-to-eat headlines will be thrown at us by the "news media" and the band will keep on playing its tune.

Has Skeptik lost his mind? I think he’s finally snapped! No–No–No. Nothing can be further from the truth. I’m just preparing myself for four more years of the same. After the election results were finalized–I realized that I’m not like many Americans. In fact–I’m not like 59,459,765 Americans (that’s how many folks voted for more of the same). The number still boggles my mind. I can understand 459,765 people somewhere in American wanting to vote for the President. In fact I think that’s the entire population of North Dakota–if I’m not mistaken (give or take a few hundred). But where did the other 59 million come from? Time will tell. As for me–I’ve already ordered my "Don’t Blame Me–I Never Voted For Him To Begin With" T-shirt. I figure they’ll be really popular in about two years.

It occurred to me that this was a historic election. It was one of those elections that Government students in high school will be studying years from now. It’s one of those elections which will affect the way we–as Americans–think and act for years to come. I can just picture asking someone ten or fifteen years from now if they vote or not and the response being "Nope–I never vote! Well–I voted once–back in 2004–but my guy lost and I haven’t voted since!" This is an all too familiar line for some folks–particularly Mondale and McGovern supporters.

By the way–the greatest story that no one even cared to write about or pick up on in this election ordeal was run by the Drudge Report a few nights before the election. Apparently Walter Cronkite–America’s News Anchor–made a comment on Larry King Live about how Karl Rove (The Bush Victory Architect) was behind the Bin Laden tape which was released just days before the election. I don’t know if that’s true or not but it seems interesting that even someone as well respected at Walter Cronkite would have the same suspicions that I did. After all–haven’t we been after this guy (Bin Laden) for nearly 3 years? Yet he’s released more videos to the public than Paris Hilton. We have the technology to drop bombs from tens of thousands of feet in the sky into a hole the size of a small doorway. We can track mouse or rat from outer space with spy satellites–but we can’t find a seven foot tall Arab on dialysis in the mountains of Tora Bora or wherever he is.

And finally–my Armenian American analysis of this whole outcome. The ink on my "inka vote" ballot was not even dry and the polls were still open in Hawaii when my friend (Mr. self-proclaimed Republican) called me up to gloat over the fiasco unfolding in Ohio. (My mother told me to never trust states that end in the same letter that they begin with!) My friend was so proud of the fact that he had voted for Bush. He was glowing with the pride that a gambler has after betting on the winning horse. He assured me that nothing would have been different for Armenia’s had Kerry been elected and that Bush would pursue a policy that would–by default–benefit Armenia’s. Here’s a part of the logic and see if you can follow: Bush lowers taxes for Americans. Armenian Americans benefit from those lower taxes. With more money in their pockets because of Bush–more Armenian Americans will be able to support charities that help Armenia or send money directly to Armenia. THUD! (sound of my head hitting the wall).

I asked him why he voted for Bush and he went on to explain that Bush was going to win anyway–and if all Armenia’s supported Kerry–it would mean that we would have no cards left to play with Bush. Ok–I can see that. In fact–I agree with that. But that argument loses merit when you spend all your time gloating and rubbing your victory in the faces of other Armenia’s who didn’t support your decision rather than trying to actually cash in those chips with the Bush-Cheney Team. And my final point before I put this election nightmare to rest…You can’t live your whole life bowing down to whoever is in power simply because you’re afraid to rock the boat to make a difference.

Armenia’s are–as I mentioned in my last column–the hacky sack at a hippie commune of world politics. We’re kicked around and thrown in the dirt. So what’s our response? Kissing the foot that just kicked us–because that’s what 2000 years of living as a subject of foreign powers will do to you. We may be too small to win every battle–but you have to act with a winner’s mindset; otherwise–you’ll always be a loser. There are many ways to win in politics–as well as in life–but the one sure-fire–never proven otherwise way to lose is to never even play the game.

Skeptik Sinikian is nobody’s hacky sack. His opinions are his own and are not for sale. He can be reached for comment at skeptiksinikian@aol.com or visit his blog at www.sinikian.blogspot.com

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