When It Rains It Pours

BY SKEPTIK SINIKIAN

After the torrential downpours of last week–the flood waters have finally subsided. It’s a good thing too because if it had kept raining–I was going to start looking for a male and female of every single animal to load up into my "Tapan" and wait the storm out. After the third day of non-stop rain–I honestly thought that the storm was a punishment for all of Glendale’s sins and I began to repent on behalf of all of my fellow citizens.

Following last week’s rant and the overwhelming and popular response from readers–I decided to continue my rant this week. After all–being locked up indoors for most of the week–or swimming down Brand Blvd. when I actually tried to run a simple errand–gave me time to think about a lot of other things I would have liked to complain/comment about and was not able to.

Here’s an observation. When a ship is about to sink–all the rats come out–right? So–with all the wannabe candidates for council–clerk–school board (and whatever else is up for consideration this election) brimming to the surface all of a sudden–is this a sign that Glendale may be sinking? Who are these people–these pretenders to the throne? Where were they ten or even five years ago? Don’t get me wrong–some of them are very qualified and will make our city and community proud but seriously–some should have just been washed away with the rest of the rain water down the LA River…

The Noyan Tapan (keeping with our Great Flood theme) reported last week that according to an unnamed official in the United States Embassy in Armenia–a Congressman from Indiana received money for making an anti-Armenian speech on the floor of Congress! (GASP!) I couldn’t believe it when I read it. I had to read it again. Could it be? A Congressman accepting money from a shady source to back up an even shadier cause. I’m sorry that I’m not surprised by this–but isn’t this how politics works in Washington? Azeri–tobacco lobby–oil–guns– it seems only folks that are peddling crap need to buy off members of Congress.

Here’s another thought. Now that the Pope has been near-death about five times in the last two weeks–and has been snatched from an inevitable demise by some sort of medical miracle–should this renew our faith in God or in modern medicine. Seriously–the man is like 250 years old and keeps on ticking after every conceivable lickin’. If his continued resurrection is not a sign of God’s existence–then I don’t know what is.

On the other hand–if there ever was a sign that there is no God–it’s probably this new hedonistic reality TV craze which is highlighted by the most ridiculous program entitled "Wife Swap." I haven’t seen this show mainly because I avoid watching television. But from what I gather–husbands who are "tired" of their regular and mundane lives get to swap wives for a week and then "learn" about themselves and their spouse. I don’t get it. So the Pope is stricken by every ailment known to man but the producers of this show are probably somewhere off the south coast of France soaking up sun and mimosas–where’s the justice in this?

Finally–back on a more local Armenian and California note–apparently last week–Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of California decided to send his assistant to participate in the 90th anniversary activities this year for the Armenian genocide. It seems as though his "special assistant" is non other than his only Armenian staffer. SURPRISE!!! IT’S NOT A TUMORRR!!! (My favorite Arnold line from the movie "Kindergarten Cop"). Better yet Arnold–my grandmother’s not busy that week–why not send her? Ridiculous that this was even posted on Groong.com as a news item. If Arnold doesn’t show up to any Armenian events this April–he may be the first Governor to skip out on an anniversary commemorating the Genocide. Maybe we can entice him to appear at the event by unleashing an army of robots from the future at the anniversary (See: Terminator 1-3). Maybe then–he would be filled with a sense of urgency and purpose.

Skeptik Sinikian’s "Tapan" will go into storage as the skies clear this week–at least–until the next sign of the "end of days" (See: "End of Days" with Arnold Schwarzenegger). Skeptik Sinikian can be reached at www.sinikian.blogspot.com.

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