Abundant Absurdity

By Garen Yegparian

Sometimes it pays to fall behind in your reading. This way–as you catch up–scanning in one sitting what might otherwise be scattered across weeks and months–you notice patterns more easily. In this case–I noticed an abundance of absurdity. So–I thought I’d share.

Some wacko Turk is suing the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (or some agency thereof) to permit the dissemination of lies. Makes sense to me? They must really think the US justice system is composed of as big a bunch of turkeys as the one in Turkey. Remember–the latter was used as a forum in the denialists’ attempt to block the convening of the recent Istanbul conference about the Genocide. Could this be a harbinger of things to come–Turk(ey)s on a sue fest?

Someone recently hacked Asbarez’ website. Probably some clever-descended-from-an-Armenian Turk. What a loser! Has nothing better to do with his/her time.

Take your caffeine detoxifier and noise shield with you if traveling to Yerevan. By all accounts–the city is being overrun by a cavalcade of cafs opening up. Most recently–this overkill threatens open park space and venues of culture. How does a caf clash with culture–you wonder? Well–it seems this one at least plans to have loud (undoubtedly rabiz) music playing within range of an open-air musical venue.

In California–it only takes a simple majority–50%-plus-one to amend the state constitution. In California–it takes 55% to pass a tax increase through a ballot measure or a two-thirds majority in the legislature. Sheesh–what screwed up–materialistic priorities! The defining document of the state is obviously less important than some fractional portion of 1% of the population–that would be the rich and spoiled bunch–paying it’s fair share of tax.

But let’s get back to Turkey–it’s more fun. Were you as ‘shocked’ as I was to learn of the institutional child abuse rampant in Turkey? Yeah–who’da thunk it? And that in a genocidal country that specializes in torturing its own citizens–beating up on women demonstrating on International Women’s day–and suppressing all forms of dissent–social–political–national. How amazing?

Turkey is threatening to go after PKK fighters in Iraq. This is reported with equanimity. Hey–it’s no big deal to invade a neighboring country. At least not for Turks and their fawning American supporters. Disgusting!

"EU or bust," Turkey’s leaders seem to be thinking–yet Orhan Pamuk and Hrant Dink get hauled off to court for exercising their right of free speech in that bastion of democracy. In a similar vein–perhaps we should add–just for Turkey–for clarity in their blood-and-tyranny addled government–that freedom of speech includes alphabetic freedom as well. Kurds have been fined recently for using the letters Q and W on placards–presumably based on a law that I seem to recall having been passed recently. It all makes sense?

Then there’re instances of Turkey–once removed. TIME magazine gave Armenia’s of the world a ‘sincere’ apology. What’s mind-boggling is their expectation of getting away with just that much. The bozos running that operation ought to be reamed a new? The temerity! Sadly–it’s also an indication of how low in the world’s pecking order–Armenia’s and our concerns are. Anybody game to scratch and peck our way up a few notches by nailing the magazine’s corporate ? to the wall? Harut Sassounian’s six-item list is a good starting point.

What would we do without good-old-Pat. That would be the Reverend Robertson. If he’s not advocating murder–internationally (oh–wait–isn’t that called terrorism?)–this man of the cloth–of god–of love is busy telling the people of Dover–Pennsylvania–"don’t turn to God" in case of a disaster. Why this seeming non sequitur? Well through the ballot–the electorate of that town had the unspeakable gall to vote off their School board a bunch of genuflecting nitwits who wanted to include "intelligent design" (oh the profound–ironic–oxymoron this phrase presents?) in the local curriculum! So of course in our gerontologically challenged Pat’s mind–the good people of Dover rode god out on a rail!

But–again–back to Turkey. Just today–November 16–the LATimes reported a bombing of a Kurdish bookstore in Turkey. The locals chased those they thought responsible–who turned out to be intelligence agents. It is suspected that "rogue" elemen’s in the armed forces might be responsible. Ya gotta luv it! Those rogue elemen’s–they’re just all over the place in Turkey’s bastion of discipline. You know how those military types are–running amok–doing anything they please?

Finally–while you might not find this one to be in the same class as the others–I invite your irritation anyway. Lands’ End–a primarily clothing catalogue operation–proudly announces "It’s the hotel robe you always wanted to take home: Turkish Terry," with the last two words in darker lettering.

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