Improbable Thoughts

Imagine Palin and Clinton (that would be Bill) hooking up. He’d get the blame, she’d become even more of a baseless hero.

The Large Hadron Collider, the newly built particle accelerator buried under the Alps, actually does malfunction and cause a black hole to be created. Awareness of this realization of some people’s fears is obliterated as we all tumble through the newly-birthed event horizon. As we all undergo this once-in-a-lifetime experience, do we die? Do some survive? Who would they be, the bible thumpers? Will they then realize how absurd their “creation science” is? Or will they cynically, true to type, just declare themselves the new “gods”?

It is discovered that George Walker Bush actually has a measurable IQ, the ability to speak, and the competence to govern the world’s only superpower. Oops, too late anyway;

Similarly, it is discovered that Richard (Dick) Bruce Cheney has a conscience, the ability to smile, and a sense of duty to the public that prevents him from destroying or not creating documentation that will someday be invaluable to historians. Oops, once again, too late anyway;

Kurds get a fair shake, anywhere. They no longer get relocated so dams can get built (turkey). They don’t get deprived of lands that are theirs because of political machinations based on the world’s seemingly unquenchable thirst for oil (Iraq). They don’t have their exiled leaders killed (Iran). They don’t get subjected to Arabization policies (Syria).

A wave of conscience and sense of historical restitution sweeps the U.S. Local and state governmen’s declare Turkey undesirable, leading to major trade and tourism losses for the genocidal state. The positions taken by these jurisdictions become void only upon Turkey’s making amen’s to the Armenian nation.

Money driven corruption is rooted out from what ought to be the most noble realm of endeavor–government. The likes of Rod Blagojevich become sterile and that aspect of the human gene pool dies out. No more money hidden in refrigerators, no legislation passed or public contracts let to please some creepy crony of elected malefactors, nor tax breaks given to those who least need it at the expense of those who can least afford it.

The lawsuit-mongering litigiousness of American society will wane, disarming the right wing money grubbers of their argumen’s against the “evil trial lawyers”. This way, when someone is rightfully injured by a poorly designed or built product, being made whole again will not be portrayed is some “extreme” outcome.

Common sense prevails. Pseudo-security at the entrances of office buildings, airports, and residential structures/areas goes away, to be replaced be welcome mats and serious protective measures where it’s really needed.

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