Irritants XIV

Garen Yegparian


Let’s start this set of blood-pressure-elevators with a brief ADL encounter. You’ll remember that the Anti-Defamation League has won my “coveted” SpitRain Award for its shamelessness in denying the Genocide. This outfit is truly debased. Now, they’ve managed to get, from ClearChannel, for FREE, in Massachusetts, over 100 billboards to use for their anti-bullying program. Meanwhile they are the epitome of the bully. But there’s some delicious and depressing irony to go with this episode. One of those obnoxious billboards was replaced by a Genocide recognition sign. Unfortunately, that one is PAID for by “Peace of Art”, an organization that has committed to raising awareness. You might contact ClearChannel and give them a piece of your mind, and cc the ADL on that note.

Moving on to an internal, Armenian community, irritant, I’ll cite an issue of language. I’ve often entered Armenian stores and had my query, IN ARMENIAN, receive a reply in broken (sometimes terribly so) English. I guess I just don’t look the part of an Armenian. But recently, this phenomenon crossed an intolerable threshold. My conversation was in Armenian with an employee who had met me previously. Yet, she persistently replied in English to my Armenian, even after I asked her why (since she did know Armenian, fluently, had said so herself, and there was thus no question of ability). This was irritating, but, there is no shortage of fools on this planet. What raised the bar to the unacceptable level was her speaking Armenian to the next customer, with no pause whatsoever!

In the mundane, non-Armenian-related, automotive-irritant realm, we have the phenomenon of wasteful parking, most often curbside. This occurs when someone parks in the middle of a space large enough for two! You might argue that the cars in front of and behind the “offending” vehicle are at fault. That’s possible, but then we are left with the reality of two offenders instead of one. Plus, most often, the front/behind cars are abutted by other cars that are reasonably spaced, making the original car I mentioned the likely offender. The more obvious and aggravating offenders are those who park half-a-car-length from the nearest red-zone, wasting all that potential parking space. The extreme example of this waste is when people shamelessly park smack-dab in the middle of two marked parking stalls, straddling the dividing line(s). These inconsiderate boors should wake up and start thinking about what they’re doing.

How can I not mention the “Royal wedding”? Dozens of millions of British Pounds wasted on two people getting hitched. Then we have the hoopla, the gawking, the salacious interest… What it all boils down to is a massive waste of EVERYONE’s time. I was disgusted by the previous one of these episodes I encountered three decades ago, and am just as put off by it now. It’s horrible to be glorifying the trappings of an institution, monarchy, whose time has long gone by, and simultaneously engaging in so much waste.

Finally, the story a friend told me is just too delicious to omit. He received a call which initially treated him to a pre-recorded message from Dick Morris, a conservative commentator, that closed by asking him to take a “survey”, just 5-to-10 minutes. Well, it lasted far less, since my friend dared respond “four” when asked to “rate Obama on scale of 1-10”. A quick “thank you” and hanging up followed. Not that I have any inclination to defend Obama now, but the behavior described is entirely another thing, orders of magnitude into the absurd zone! I suppose, for these people, if you’re not fulminating and frothing at the mouth with Obama-phobia, your opinion isn’t worth anything.

I’m considering adopting a new motto and acting on it… “eliminate idiocy”. I invite you to join this effort.


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  1. Inch Kses? said:

    I try very hard to read and then even harder to keep pace with your logic… Not always but often enough…
    And I’m unfortunately coming to the conclusion that what we have at hand is new case of or a reincarnation of an Armenian (?) author that “terrorized “the Armenian press in his own right in 1970s, 80s , and 90s a new “Ara Baliozian” ( I hope God can find enough strength to bless his soul).
    Do you share any genetic relation with him? lol
    Give yourself and our readers a break, please… Life must be more positive then the loom and gloom that you portray, come on, there is still few month till Dec. 2012…

  2. ara baliozian said:

    reincarnation? rather premature, methinks. i am very much alive and kicking ass!

    • ara baliozian said:

      “Forensic report unveils evidence of nepotism,
      poor management, and sloppy record keeping,” I
      read in a front-page headline today. I have never
      seen such a headline in our press and I doubt if
      I will ever see one. It is a universally
      acknowledged fact that nepotism is foreign to us,
      all our managers and accountants are models of
      integrity and efficiency; and, in the words of
      the Duke of Wellington, “if you believe that
      you’ll believe anything!”
      Partisan politics is to politics what a virus is
      to a healthy organism.
      One of our elder statesmen once said to me: “If
      you continue to criticize our benefactors, they
      may withdraw their support.” I had to explain to
      him that benefactors don’t respect the opinions
      of someone whose annual income is negative.
      Whenever I am told that such and such a fellow
      has leadership qualities, I want to know where
      exactly does he plan to lead us? We may trust a
      bus driver or taxi driver because we know he will
      take us to our destination; we may trust a
      plumber, a butcher, or a pharmacist, but to trust
      a politician on the grounds that he has
      leadership qualities amounts to legitimizing
      criminal conduct.
      I welcome criticism, even insults. I wouldn’t be
      able to write a single line if I thought there
      are readers out there who think I speak the
      truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
      truth. I may speak of half-truths and lies, but
      speaking or pretending to know the truth I leave
      to charlatans with leadership qualities.

  3. ara baliozian said:

    The easiest lies to expose in others
    are the ones we have ourselves professed in the past.

    • ara bakiozian said:

      Saturday, November 11, 2017
      I am fully aware of the fact that
      I can’t raise the dead
      or change the world
      or introduce justice in an unjust world.
      It doesn’t necessarily follow that
      my only viable option is
      to drop my pants and bend over.