These last few weeks have been a doozie. I’ll be honest with you. When I was told last Friday that there was no room left in the paper to run my column–I didn’t shed a tear. After all–getting the news in the hands of the public is more important than people reading personal ran’s on topics that most people consider esoteric. Nevertheless–I thank Asbarez for giving me space to have my own forum to share my views and thoughts. This week–I decided to unload a number of thoughts that have been swimming around aimlessly in my head.

First of all–why is it that whenever it rains in California–people forget how to drive? On the east coast you can have hail–snow–torrential downpours–but people manage to get to where they’re getting to–with little or no problem. In Southern California–you get a little bit of mist and all of a sudden the 134 looks like the DMV’s driveway.

Why does every Armenian teenager driving down Glenoaks feel like they have to give you the evil eye if you stare in their general direction at a stop light. The other day I was at a red light and turned over to find a 16 year old driving one of those fixed up sports cars looking at me like I was Adolph Hitler’s twin. If anyone has an answer to this one–I’d love to find out.

When did it become fashionable for Armenian high school students to wear athletic warm-ups everywhere they go. I was at church and saw a kid walk out looking like he was a member of the Iranian Olympic weightlifting team. He was decked out in warm ups from head to toe with matching sneakers. Let me see if I understand. You can take the time to find sneakers to match your velvet jump suit but can’t go to Marshall’s or Ross and buy a dress shirt and tie?

I read this week that the Armenian Diocese Church in Canada is planning on banning gay marriages. I also read that the Armenian Parliament was considering a similar law. Two thoughts came to mind here. First of all–does the Armenian Church think that by banning a specific activity they will prevent people from doing it? And secondly–is there such a mad rush by gay Armenia’s to get married that the Church and Government see this as a priority? How about dealing with the whole poverty issue first? Or maybe that little thing about getting rid of corruption would be nice too. And no–that wasn’t directed at only the Armenian parliament.

Speaking of banning things in Church–Lent started last week. This is when our church bans the consumption of meat. No. This is a new thought. The other meat. The animal kind. Do Armenian banquet halls have an agreement with Etchmiadzin or God that I don’t know about? Every Armenian restaurant and event I’ve been to has served such massive quantities of meat that it makes me wonder if we’re single handedly contributing to an eventual beef–pork–or lamb shortage.

Continuing on the topic of flesh–the other day I made the unfortunate mistake of going to the Glendale Galleria to buy a watch. I walked in and within a span of five minutes saw at least 20 young Armenian girls walking around in less clothing than the cocktail waitresses at a Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. I’m not a fashion fascist but if your pants make me want to reach over and pull them up for you–then you should buy a pair that fits. I can’t imagine that having half of one’s rear end sticking out of a pair of pants or showing any butt cleavage is comfortable. And parents–please remind your children that crack–of ANY kind–is dangerous!

Last but not least–I read that US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice went to Turkey and praised the Turkish people for being such close friends and allies to the US. Now I’m not going to say that what she did is right or wrong. But if there are ANY delusional Armenia’s out there who thought that President Bush will recognize the Armenian genocide during his second term when there’s less pressure and he’s establishing a legacy?then I’ve got beach front property in Armenia that I’d like to sell to you.

Anyway–that’s all that I’ve had on my chest this week. If you can think of answers–explanations–or have questions of your own?email me at [email protected]

Skeptik Sinikian would like to remind everyone that with all its hopes–dreams–promises–and urban renewal–the world still manages to continue deteriorating. Have a nice day and email him at [email protected]


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