BY SKEPTIK SINIKIAN
I know that last week I promised to delve deeper into this whole dating business. But you know what? I’ve pretty much said all there is to say about it–at least for now. There is only so much that a person can endure writing about the shenanigans of online Don Juans or the sob stories of shallow Armenian vixens. So I’m asking you as a friend to give me one week of rest from this jambalaya of psychotic and emotionally needy people who surf the Internet looking for love. After all–it’s been a heck of a month since George W. Bush was reelected and he’s wasted no time as head honcho redecorating and making over the "Spitak (or Jermag–depending on your persuasion) Doon."
In less than a month–Bush has replaced nearly everyone on his cabinet. The White House hasn’t seen this much shuffling around since Bill Clinton tried to hide the blue dress or when Richard Nixon asked for his entire cabinet’s resignation after being reelected. Attorney General John "I-can’t-explain-how-Armenia-was-added-to-a-list-of-terrorist-nations" Ashcroft is out. Commerce Secretary Don Evans has bid us goodbye. Powell was handed the pink slip and others continue to exit stage left. I–for one–am glad to see that the Bush Administration has finally decided to have his politics imitate actual life. He’s successfully applied current economic conditions to his own cabinet by introducing a higher turnover rate in his own inner circle than at the McDonalds down the street. Unfortunately–these poor saps who are "resigning" (trust me–some of these folks couldn’t wait to go while others were probably forced out) aren’t having their life savings pilfered like the poor folks who were laid off at Enron or Worldcom. But it’s a Red State world we’re living in right now and even I have to tone down my anti-Bush policy rhetoric. By the way–the Red in Red States comes from Communist China and the Republic of Turkey. That’s right. Our ideological enemies are now are sugar daddies with the red from their flags bleeding its way into our homes and wallets. "Made in America" is so pass. "Made in China" is the wave of the future and before you know it–so will "Made in Turkey!" Don’t grumble about job losses because this administration is going to appoint a minority to a major cabinet position like a Latino Secretary of Commerce in order to sway the public’s attention away from the fact that we’re losing manufacturing jobs to China at a breakneck speed.
Have I lost it? Has Skeptik gone off the deep end YET again? Is this more liberal propaganda from someone who’s been paid by insiders to sway the minds of innocent and unsuspecting Armenian Americans? Questions that we’ll never know the answers to. But here’s a challenge to all of my self righteous–conservative–pro-Bush/Cheney–and ALLEGEDLY patriotic critics. I have brand new crisp five dollar bill in my wallet (hard to resist huh?) for anyone who can find me a major US store like Kmart or Wal-Mart where more items are made in the US than in China.
If Kmart or Wal-Mart shoppers had a clue–they’d know that a boycott of China would fairly clear the shelves of their favorite stores. Wal-Mart alone is the largest importer of Chinese-manufactured goods in the world; it contracts with thousands of factories there. For Kohl’s Department Stores–Inc.–a 338-store–Wisconsin-based chain–China is the main country of origin for goods. (source: www.Americaneconomicalert.org).
Bottom line is that with all this outsourcing by corporations–it won’t be long before our President starts outsourcing Cabinet positions to foreign powers. It started back in Clinton’s day when he was allowing officials from China access to the Lincoln bedroom in the White House. And you know why? Because the Wal-Mart company–headquartered in Bubba’s home state of Arkansas–wanted to start opening stores in Communist China. How convenient? I’ll give you a moment to turn off the light bulb that just flashed above your head. (The truth is pretty darn scary once you sift past what CNN and Fox tell you.)
Now let’s shift our focus to Armenian specific issues. I know there are a bunch of you out there who only believe in an afterlife because you pray that you’ll be able to shop after you drop. But–be careful and vigilant before picking up that next Cashmere sweater at Banana Republic to make sure it’s not made in the Republic of Turkey. But consider what the influx of Turkish products is doing not only to the American economy (go back and read about China again) but the cost that it has on advancing Armenian American concerns in Congress and on the global arena. Armenian Americans don’t check labels to see where things are manufactured because for most of us–"sweatshop" means any cramped environment in the Jewelry district of downtown or Little Armenia where folks sweat while they shop. But reading labels to check the country of origin is very important. You’re not just supporting a product label; you’re supporting the whole regime behind that label. Visit www.UnitedHumanRights.org to find out more about boycotting Turkish products and how you can help.
So this Christmas shopping season–when you’re elbowing some poor Armenian dadig out of the way to get to that last Sony Play Station 2 or that GAP sweater–just stop and consider what a positive impact you’d be making if you shopped elsewhere and gave a unique gift–something other than a Starbucks coffee card. Here’s a list of websites that offer shopping alternatives for Armenia’s and anyone else where you can help out a good cause and stick it to the man!
Skeptik Sinikian still believes in Santa Claus. You can stuff his virtual stocking with emails at [email protected] or visit his blog at www.sinikian.blogspot.com.